


you don't have to say i love you

by twelveinterror



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Dialogue Heavy, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Sexual Humor, Sharing a Bed, Yangren, i accidentally posted the draft lol oops, merry xmas, renyang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28265331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twelveinterror/pseuds/twelveinterror
Summary: “Holy shit,” Renjun said with his head on his hands.“Yeah, I think you’re already dating for three years and you just forgot about the asking out and label part.”“Shit.”“Yeah, it sucks that you have goldfish memory when you’re trashed,” Hyuck patted his shoulder and added “come on you kissed, slept in one bed, met each other’s families, flirt like no one else is with you, you guys clearly are in L – word with each other, and his grandma loves you. How the fuck are you still not dating?”
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Liu Yang Yang
Comments: 13
Kudos: 134





	you don't have to say i love you

**Author's Note:**

> the title was taken from 'for him.' by troye sivan.
> 
> this is not affiliated with the artists and people mentioned. this is a work of fiction.

“Your boyfriend isn’t coming?”

“My what?” Renjun pushed the chair instead of lifting it up, creating a loud screech.

Doyoung, not glancing up from his phone said “Your boyfriend? The one who always pick you up? You know smiley and polite?”

“Yangyang? He has a meeting with Ten hyung right now.”

“Oh.”

But wait a minute. He opened his mouth to tell Doyoung, but his phone suddenly blasted One Direction.

“Hey Yangie, what’s up?”

_“I finished early, you still down for dinner?”_

“Dinner?” well, Renjun doesn’t have anything planned and it has been a while since he last hung out with him, “sure.”

_“Where are you? I’ll pick you up.”_

“I’m at the café with Doyoung hyung.”

_“Wait, are you sure?”_

“Yeah, we closed up early.”

_“Nice, see you.”_

“See you.”

Renjun ended the call and Doyoung chuckled at him, wiggling his eyebrows “So you have a date, tonight. That’s why you brought extra clothes.”

“I just happened to-“

“If you say so,” Doyoung smirked at him. “Let’s lock up? You wouldn’t want to be late.”

Convincing Doyoung about Yangyang not being his boyfriend is going to be harder from now.

\---

They met at a Chinese restaurant back in 2017, when Renjun was feeling the worst homesickness he had in a while.

His roommate was out with his girlfriend, so he needed to eat out anyway. He chose a restaurant whose menu was written in his mother tongue. Renjun listed his order comfortably in Mandarin and the waitress smiled at him. The two-seater booth near the window he chose was clean and the surface wasn’t sticky like some fast food restaurants. The leather of his seat was tattered and stitched closed by hand, worn out by time. It showed how people come to this place to seek comfort in laminated menus, yellowed signs, and good food.

A few minutes later, the place filled up with people hoping for a good dinner. The stir fried tofu and rice he ordered arrived to his table with a bowl of egg drop soup. Renjun looked at the auntie manning the register and she just smiled and waved at him. He took a spoon of the soup, not minding if it’s hot enough to burn his tongue off. The liquid warmed his throat and his soul.

This is home. He stuffed his face with tofu and rice, he was overwhelmed. Renjun left China at sixteen to study in Korea, he was seventeen and starting uni in two years to pursue dance. He was in the middle of wiping a stray tear, when someone spoke to him slowly in Korean.

“Hey, can I sit on your table?” The boy on front of him stammered as he spoke. “I promise I won’t bother you.”

“Sure.”

The boy placed his bag on the couch before sitting and calling the waitress to the table. He ordered himself stir fried noodles in Mandarin, and then gave out the biggest grin. It’s blinding, bright, and toothy. Renjun almost covered his eyes for protection. The waitress left and the boy fiddled with his phone.

Renjun found himself slowing down. The boy was near his age, wearing a black hoodie that looked expensive for a high school student and jeans. His eyes were pretty and his jawline was prominent enough to be measured with a protractor. His backpack was neon green and it blinded Renjun just like his smile. Renjun was calling the boy, ‘the boy’ too much so he decided to call him ‘smiley’ in his head.

Smiley’s food arrived and he gave his thanks to the server. He snapped his chopsticks and dug in. Smiley also received a serving of egg drop soup from the auntie.

“You’re Chinese too?” Renjun couldn’t stop himself. There were not really much Chinese people his age in Korea.

“Taiwanese,” Smiley replied with a small smile.

“Nice, you come here often?”

“No, it’s my first time.”

“Really?”

“I only entered because I could read the signs, and my Korean needs some work.”

“Tourist?”

“No, came for school.”

“Same. Performing Arts?”

“International.”

“Damn.”

“My name is Liu Yangyang,” he held out his hand for Renjun to take and Renjun gladly shook it.

“Huang Renjun, I was getting tired of calling you ‘smiley’ in my head.”

“Smiley you say?” Yangyang smiled wider, “and here I was calling you pretty boy.”

Renjun almost spat out his soup, “Dude, too early.”

“Early?” he smirked, “you haven’t touched your tofu because you were too busy checking me out.” Yangyang raised an eybrow at him.

“Yes, I was checking you out,” he admitted. “You do have a pretty smile.”

“And you have a pretty face.”

“Wanna be friends?”

“Damn, I got friendzoned real quick,” he slurped his noodles. “Sure, I don’t really have friends my age.”

“Same, are you born in 2000?”

“2000.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, really,” Yangyang dipped his spoon into the soup. “So tell me Huang Renjun, why were you crying into your rice?”

And they have been best friends since then.

\---

After Renjun graduated his Performing Arts high school and Yangyang graduated his German International School, they decided to attend university together. They were both pursuing dance and figured that it would be best to stick together.

“Ten ge went hard today.”

“I thought you were going to plan for the showcase?”

“Yeah we did,” Yangyang slurped his soup loudly before replying, “it’s just everyone was panicking and nothing was getting done and we are all tired, so Ten let us out.”

“You phrased that like you’re animals in a cage.”

“More like detainment.”

Renjun choked on his dumplings. “Hey! That was a one-time thing.”

“I am never going to let you live that down,” Yangyang laughed as he handed him a glass of water.

“Fuck you.”

“So tell me about your day,” he slid the box of tissues across the table, “you fought with a boomer today?”

“Dude, I made a drink with a crazy amount of syrups we ended up with four full cups of the drink and she didn’t even pay extra!”

“I could imagine Doyoung hyung’s face.”

“She only took one cup of course and it’s a waste.”

“You drank it?”

“It’s liquid diabetes.”

“Oh my god!”

“We just tasted it and it threw it away, it’s a waste but no one could stomach that.”

“No one?”

“Maybe you and Jaemin, because y’all are heathens.”

Yangyang scoffed at that, putting a hand over his chest, “You are totally going to make that drink for us.”

“You are going to die.”

“Not if I flush it out of my system quickly.”

“You are going to crawl and grab on to my leg saying that your tummy hurts.”

“I will not!”

They fall into a comfortable silence and ate in peace. They are out eating hot pot today. The restaurant they are at isn’t crowded nor empty, it’s just right, and it’s quite near to the café and the university dorms so Yangyang didn’t bring his car with him.

“I’m paying today,” Renjun declares, “you pay next time.” Yangyang smiled and nodded for a reply, focusing back on his meal.

Afterwards, they headed out and walked. They stopped by a store and bought some ice cream, bickering on what is the superior ice cream flavor. In the end they traded, Yangyang got strawberry while Renjun got cookies and cream. The walked again with his hand on the grab handle of Yangyang’s backpack, because sometimes Yangyang walks too fast.

“Strawberry would taste better if it isn’t artificial.”

“I guess, but yeah I have opened my eyes to cookies and cream.”

“Really?” Yangyang smiled widely, “then I win today.”

“It’s unfair, I paid for dinner.”

“I will pay for next time and I paid for the ice cream. I just happen to have impeccable taste, and you thought of the bet how did you even lose at your own terms?”

“Damn, I should have picked chocolate.”

“I agree, chocolate is a timeless flavor. You might have had a shot with that.”

“Fuck you.” They threw the packaging in a bin.

Seoul streets look good at night, but not as colourful as Shanghai. Renjun tightened his hold on Yangyang’s bag and pulled him close.

“You cold?”

“Ice cream was a bad idea.”

“You’re cooking for me and Dejun because of it.” Yangyang put an arm around his shoulder. “It’s getting cooler. I thought the hot pot in our systems could maintain the warmth.”

“Yeah, I regret the ice cream,” Renjun leaned on him, “but damn you’re like a portable heater.”

“You could just say that you like my hugs, I do- “ he stops mid – sentence, squinting at a distance.

“Hey, you good?”

“Yeah, I just thought I saw someone familiar.”

\---

“Renjun hyung you’re dating Yangyang hyung right?” Jisung said.

They were on a water break when Jisung entered the studio to give Chenle his water bottle because he forgot it in their dorm room.

“What?” Renjun almost spat his drink on his face.

“We saw you two last night. You seemed… close.”

“Jisung you don’t have to ask, they literally have their arms wrapped around each other,” Chenle said with mirth in his voice.

“I knew it you’re together last night,” he pointed at his juniors, “are you perhaps on a date?” They were the ones Yangyang saw last night.

Jisung blushed hard and Chenle started hitting him, “We’re not!”

“It’s okay Lele, you aren’t high school students anymore.”

“We were not on a date,” Chenle shifted to Mandarin, so Renjun switched too. “Sure.”

“We just ate out.”

“Dating,” Renjun make finger quotes.

“We ate dinner!”

“You were together with no one else.”

“He’s my best friend.”

“Bro date, just two bros chilling but on a date.”

Now that Chenle’s attention is diverted to himself, he gets to walk freely. Jisung tried his best to comprehend what the fuck his best friend is sputtering in an angry tone. It kind of looks like Renjun and Chenle are arguing but they are not.

However, if Renjun used his reasoning against Chenle on himself, then maybe he and Yangyang were on a date last night. And maybe they have been dating for three years now. They go out to eat and they do it all the time, as best friends.

Huh. Best friends.

\---

“What do you mean it’s shallow?” Yangyang dug his nails into Renjun’s palm, “We’re only halfway through the movie.”

Renjun yelped, “Stop it!” he pulled his hand away. “You are supposed to paint my nails.”

“And you don’t have to point out everything wrong,” he held on to his middle finger, “you’re going to ruin the movie for me.”

“It’s already ruined and think about it, it’s so creepy,” Renjun pointed at the screen of his Ipad, “like would you turn into a cat for love?”

“I mean, why not?”

“A cat boy,” he held his head with his free hand, “you really are.”

Yangyang just meowed at him.

“Every interaction is creepy. Imagine nuzzling your face into a cat’s belly but it’s a person.”

“It’s anime.”

“It’s shallow.”

“I dare you to say something good about it.”

“The animation is good, the art is amazing, and the soundtrack is okay.”

“See?”

“The writing is still shit,” he paused to think of a good example, “like imagine Ten and Kun ge’s cats when you come over and play with them.”

“Okay.”

“Muge is like those idol stalkers.”

“Okay.”

“Are you listening to me?”

“Look,” Yangyang pointed the screen, “he has cat paws now.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“It’s fiction.”

“It’s stupid.”

“But you got to admit,” he closed the bottle of baby blue nail polish, placed it on the coffee table, and blew on Renjun’s hand, “the tree looks cool.”

“It does look cool, but you hyped me up all weekend for this shit?” he opened and closed his hands in front of him and damn Yangyang did his nails well. “These are neat.”

“Thanks,” he smiled, “but yeah, it’s way below my expectations too.”

“See?” he nudged Yangyang’s thigh.

“But like what if Leon and Louis became human?”

“I don’t want to think about it.”

“Yeah, Louis hates you,” Yangyang frowned at the screen, “what if I become a cat?”

“Then you become one.”

“What would you do? Would you still love me if I became a cat?”

“Like the worm texts?”

“Yeah, would you?”

Renjun exhaled loudly. He and Yangyang had been planning to watch a movie on Netflix for weeks. They were so hyped about the trailers and the reviews. But now that they are watching it, it is a huge let down in Renjun’s perspective and Yangyang is trying his best to be optimistic about it.

“I don’t have time to take care of a cat, Hyuck and I are rarely home unless we are asleep. Besides, they don’t allow pets and you would be an annoying cat.”

“Aww, what color would I be?”

“Are you seriously asking me that?” but regardless he had an answer prepared, “orange and you would meow and purr in multiple languages.”

“That’s so sick.”

“Look firework confessions.”

“At least they can hear each other.”

“Where is the build up?”

“I guess saving her from the cat kingdom?”

“Bullshit.”

It’s getting late, the movie credits are rolling and the ending song is good. Hyuck isn’t home, maybe he’s staying with the others tonight.

“Are you going to stay over?” Renjun asks, “Hyuck is out, you can use his room.”

“I’ll just head home instead, you deserve alone time.”

“Stay for dinner.”

“Thank you!” Yangyang jumped to tackle Renjun on to the couch. “I haven’t had a decent meal in days!”

“What the fuck do you and Dejun eat?”

“Cold pasta with ketchup.”

“How do you?” he sighed then said “You know what? I don’t want to know. What the fuck would you do without me?”

“Starve to death?” his voice is muffled by Renjun’s sweater. “Please marry me and feed me every day,” Yangyang whined.

“Let’s graduate first then ask my mom.” Okay so he didn’t think that through, because Yangyang suddenly bumped into his head in shock.

“You’re joking,” his face turned serious.

“And you’re heavy, stop acting like you turned into a cat,” Renjun tried to push him up, “come on kitty, I will cook then feed you.”

“Now that is disgusting,” he cringed and jolted off the couch and ran to the mini kitchen, “never call me ‘kitty’ again!”

“Then stop buying shoes and order decent meals instead!”

“I’m taking the Switch for the week.”

\---

Exam week is finally over and they are celebrating Shotaro’s first showcase in Korea. He may stumble over his words and smile and nod his way through conversations, but he is a beast on the stage. Yuta hyung may or may not have bawled because of it. Renjun is on his first bottle with Jeno when Yangyang came stumbling to their booth.

Yup their designated driver is trashed and suddenly Renjun is the sober friend. It isn’t even past midnight. This is probably Jaemin and Guanheng’s doing. He pulled Yangyang next to him and ordered fries and a glass of water. The restaurant bar is packed with familiar faces. Ten and Sicheng are doing shots by the counter, while Johnny and Jaehyun took over the music. Yangyang’s hand found its way to the zippers of Renjun’s jacket.

“Are you going with Dejun?” he asked Yangyang in Korean.

“I think he already left with Hendery hyung,” Jeno answered for him.

“I guess I’m stuck with your drunk ass.”

“But it’s a nice ass,” Yangyang pouted, “its perky.”

Yangyang does have a nice ass, especially when he’s in those tight skinny jeans when he performs. He replies nodding, “Yeah it is.”

Jeno slammed his head on the table, “I know that’s mild but I am right here, please do your foreplay elsewhere.”

“We will once Yangyang gets food in his system.”

“So you will get it on?” Jeno smirks and his eyes turn into crescents. It doesn’t look threatening actually.

Renjun says “You know that’s not what I mean,” but was unheard because Yangyang spoke at the same time as him.

“What the fuck do you mean with ‘get it on’?”

“You know, Netflix and chill?”

“Oh sure, I’d like that,” Yangyang answers then beams at the sight of food arriving. He took a salted fry and munched on it.

Renjun just froze. Yes, Yangyang is drunk and he is loopy and won’t shut up and he should take that into consideration, but he keeps his head when he is. Yangyang once recalled every single event that happened in the legendary Jung Sungchan birthday bash, and he was far drunker than Renjun was. And Renjun doesn’t remember shit about that day, all he knew is he went around kissing people. They showed him the photos.

“What the fuck do you mean ‘Oh sure, I’d like that’?” he switched to Mandarin and mockingly tries to copy Yangyang’s voice.

“Attack on Titan has a new episode on Netflix,” he replied with a mouthful of fries.

He let out a breath he was unknowingly holding. “You totally gave Jen the wrong idea.”

“It’s Reiner and the Eldians’ flashback episode, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Miss it?”

“He thinks one of us is getting dicked down tonight.” Jeno couldn’t keep a secret from Jaemin, and if Jaemin knows he would tell Chenle. And if Chenle knows, basically everyone will. And people actually think that he and Yangyang are together and this will escalate.

Maybe Yangyang realized too, because he started choking on his fries. Renjun quickly passed him a glass of water.

“Oh…” The thought dawned on him like ketchup slowly being poured over a plate of fries.

“Yeah ‘Oh…’”

“I didn’t think that through,” he continued fiddling with the zipper of Renjun’s jacket.

“The final season is a big deal for you, I understand.”

“But,” Renjun cuts him off.

“It’s no big deal, and if someone looks for us tomorrow morning we could just say we can’t go because my ass hurts and I can’t walk.”

Yangyang smiles in relief and it quickly morphs into a smirk, “I love the way you think.”

They excused themselves from Jeno, and he yelled “Do the coconut trick from Twitter and tell me if it works!” He raised his middle finger in return. The restaurant bar isn’t that far from Yangyang’s apartment, so he can just pick up his car tomorrow. Renjun passed by Donghyuck and Mark and gestured that they will head to their apartment earlier. Donghyuck just made an annoying face in reply. They made it out the door but not before putting on their coats and waving and saying goodbye to all the people they know.

Its winter and it’s freezing outside. Yangyang immediately stuffed his hand inside Renjun’s coat pocket to hog his hand warmer. Renjun is completely sober now and Yangyang can walk straight, but he still wrapped his arm around the other for safety.

If Renjun saw two young college students walking down the streets to go home wrapped around each other like this, he would think that they are dating too. Now that he thinks of it, he wouldn’t mind having Yangyang as a boyfriend.

He’s an overall great person and he gets him, what more could he ask for?

Renjun puts Yangyang in a chokehold, “You told me to get trashed and have a good time and celebrate my successful practical exam and told me not to worry about anything because you’ll make sure I don’t go around kissing everyone and drive me home and push me in the shower!”

“I’m sorry!” he pleaded then quickly said “I have an asphyxiation kink!”

Okay, so he is an overall great person but Renjun could ask for more patience to deal with this bitch.

Renjun immediately lets go off him and yells, “I will push you towards the road and a bus will run over you.”

Yangyang bursts in a giggling fit and claps to himself, wheezing. Goddamn, this man will be the death of him.

“I’m leaving you,” he started walking faster, “bye I’m going home.”

“Wait up!” Yangyang jogs to catch up to him, still smiling wide.

Renjun runs faster and Yangyang tries to freeze tag him, which is funny because they’re both already freezing. They reach Renjun’s apartment in a flash.

“Why the fuck would you do that? You asswipe,” Yangyang panted and held his knees, “I’m drunk as fuck.”

“You got here safely without slipping on ice.”

“I’m drunk.”

“You’re an idiot with a choking kink.” Yangyang laughed out loud, and the apartment security gave them a weird look. Thank god the security guard doesn’t understand Mandarin. Renjun pulled at the back of Yangyang’s coat and dragged him to the elevator. “Let’s go before get a complaint for public disturbance.”

They reach Renjun’s floor and went in the unit. Hyuck will be arriving much later.

“I’m going to shower first.”

“Yeah, I’ll just watch the new episode in my phone,” Yangyang said as he removed some layers and sat on the couch.

He went into the bathroom and showered.

Renjun was fresh from the shower when he caught Yangyang frowning at his phone. “Hey,” he dumped clothes and a towel on Yangyang’s head, “get in the shower.”

“Took you long enough, I finished the episode and its 23 minutes long.”

“I like hot water.”

“Okay, so I was looking at stupid theories on the ending and shit don’t make any sense right now.”

“Take a shower and read them tomorrow, or make Mark explain them to you.”

“Yeah, I mean he gets all pumped up with The Founding Falco theory,” he bundled the clothes and headed to the shower.

“I have no idea what that means.”

“You would if you watch it with me,” Yangyang raised his eyebrow at Renjun, “come on join the bandwagon!”

“Shower,” he pushed him in the bathroom.

Renjun shuts the bathroom door and goes to his room. Hyuck will be coming home tonight, so Yangyang will probably sleep in his room. His bed is a double and he saved up enough money from the café and art commissions to get himself a decent bed. There is enough space for two people. Yangyang doesn’t kick in his sleep but he does hog up the blanket, so Renjun digs through his closet for another one. Two blankets are nice because if one farts, the other doesn’t have to suffer the stench. Renjun giggled at the memory. He closed the lights and scrolled through Tumblr.

“These won’t fit me,” Yangyang said as he entered the room with a towel wrapped around his waist, opening the lights.

“You cocksucker!” Renjun blinked as his eyes adjusted to the light, “Yes it will! You’re just obsessed with oversized shit. Wear them or freeze in that towel outside, because your bare ass cheeks are not touching my sheets tonight.”

“Okay fine, some other night then,” he winked before putting on underwear under the towel. When Yangyang was fully dressed in Renjun’s clothing, he closes the lights and slides to the right side of the bed.

Renjun removes his glasses and hands Yangyang a fluffy blanket and another pillow. “So how’s not sleeping with Pooh and the giant Panda?” he asked him before quickly adding “Don’t say it’s better because you’re sleeping with me.”

“You read my mind,” Yangyang replied. He placed the pillow in between them and wrapped an arm around it. “Sucks, but your pillow will do.”

Renjun isn’t big on cuddling and Yangyang isn’t either, but the warmth he emits is enough for him. He looks so soft and cozy with the blanket up to his chin as he mutters something about the blanket not reaching his cold feet. His recently dyed dark hair was blow dried in the bathroom before lying in bed because he hates wet pillows. He smells like the body wash and shampoo Renjun uses and he hopes that Yangyang didn’t go overboard with the skin care products. Renjun’s peach hoodie fits him just fine despite saying it doesn’t. They’re basically the same size. Yangyang just wears big clothing and platforms 24/7. Of course he is gorgeous, he has a nice face and a dancer’s body and he moves with sharpness and accuracy.

Fine, Renjun doesn’t mind having rumours about him and his best friend leaving the party early to fuck. And he wouldn’t mind having the real thing either. He fisted his blanket and faced the wall.

“Get some socks in the lowest drawer of the nightstand if you want.”

“Thanks,” he reached down, blindly took a pair and wore them on his feet.

The room is silent, aside from Renjun’s heartbeat and Yangyang’s breathing. He has to talk to Hyuck about this. Donghyuck will probably tell him the words he needs to hear. It’s not like it’s a sudden realization and there was no italicized oh moment, it just feels right. He’ll think about it tomorrow.

“Hey,” Yangyang tugged his blanket.

“What?” Renjun replied, not bothering to face him.

“I bet Jaemin and Jeno are up early tomorrow and will call for breakfast.”

“Brunch for me,” he mumbled, “let’s bet on our cheering signs for the showcase.”

“Yours is going to look so horrible.”

“And yours is going to be embarrassing.”

\---

They both woke up to Renjun’s phone ringing.

“What the fuck Nana?” Renjun rubs the sleep off his eyes then puts his glasses on. Yangyang reaches over his shoulders to press the speaker button.

_“Let’s go out for brunch.”_

Renjun silently pumps his fist and celebration and Yangyang buries his face on the pillow with defeat.

“I can’t today.”

 _“How come? Let’s meet up with Jungwoo hyung.”_ Jaemin asks.

“I can’t feel my legs.”

_“What?”_

“Junnie, what time is it?” Yangyang purposely made his voice raspier.

_“Oh my fucking gosh, good fucking bye!”_

_“Hey ask them if the twitter dick riding twee-“_ Jeno yells in the background, but before he could finish his statement, Jaemin abruptly ends the call.

They caught each other’s eyes and cackled. Renjun started hitting Yangyang’s shoulder hard as he laughed. “You are going to raise a sparkly sign saying ‘Huang Renjun owns my ass!’ for the joint showcase.”

“Why not?” Yangyang giggled then said “What the fuck is Jeno even saying? Is that like the old Tweet about dick riding and coconuts?”

“I guess, maybe he wants to try it on Nana.”

“Oh my god.”

“Your voice is sexy.”

“Thank you.”

The two of them made the bed and folded the blankets, then headed out for brunch. They were greeted by Donghyuck who was spreading cream cheese on toast.

“Well, well. What do we have here?” Hyuck passed the butter knife to Yangyang.

“Brunch,” Renjun replied and got him and Yangyang bread from the toaster.

“You two look like you had fun.”

“Nana called and he sounded horrified,” Yangyang replied.

Renjun slid the plate towards him and he started spreading cream cheese for him too.

“So where’s your car?”

“Holy shit I left it at the bar parking lot,” Yangyang tried to finish his toast in three bites, “I have to go, I don’t want to get a fine.”

“Shower,” Renjun reminded him.

“Of fucking course,” he stood up and placed his plate and knife in the sink, “I’ll rummage through your clothes and find something to wear.”

“And you had the audacity to complain last night.”

“I am a changed person, and you do have cute socks.”

Donghyuck gagged loudly, “Yangyangie, they are towing your car as we speak.”

“Fuck, I crumble under pressure.”

“Like a cookie.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

After Yangyang showered and changed into skinny jeans and a black turtle neck in courtesy of Renjun’s closet, he hurriedly wore his winter coat and bolted out the door. Of course he had to steal a beanie from him, but he forgot to bring the paper bag containing his clothes last night.

Now that the subject of the supposed conversation is out of sight, Renjun and Hyuck just waited for the other to speak. Hyuck slowly bit into his second slice of toast while maintaining eye contact with him.

Renjun broke first, “I like Yangyang.”

“Okay,” hyuck nodded, “and?”

“What?”

“Aren’t you dating? Like didn’t you fuck last night?”

“We didn’t?”

“You didn’t?

“We aren’t dating.”

“Holy fuck, really?” Hyuck gasps, “I thought you were.”

“I think everyone thinks we are.”

“We’ve been roommates for like two years now. I thought you were together the whole time!” Hyuck said with a mouthful of bread.

“That’s impossible!”

“Yeah, and I think you kissed each other back in September.”

Sungchan’s birthday bash, the day he didn’t remember shit. Renjun slammed his head on the table.

“But I kissed you that day too!” He and Hyuck did kiss, he saw the photos.

“We are friends.”

“Yangyang is my fucking friend too!” Renjun groaned, “And he didn’t tell me.”

“It is different and he probably told you. Maybe you tuned him out because you were busy with the choreography for Chenle’s solo.” Hyuck sighed, “I am going to text Yangyang and ask him.”

Donghyuck whipped out his phone and shot Yangyang a message before Renjun could even stop him, and after two long minutes he replied.

“I did and I told him about it the next day haha,” Hyuck reads the text out loud, “Lucas sent me the photos and I think RJ forgot about it lol.”

Renjun slowly looked at Donghyuck’s expecting face. Fuck vodka, fuck Xuxi, and fuck Yangyang. This is so embarrassing.

“Holy shit,” Renjun said with his head on his hands.

“Yeah, I think you’re already dating for three years and you just forgot about the asking out and label part.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, it sucks that you have goldfish memory when you’re trashed,” Hyuck patted his shoulder and added “come on you kissed, slept in one bed, met each other’s families, flirt like no one else is with you, you guys clearly are in L – word with each other, and his grandma loves you. How the fuck are you still not dating?”

“I don’t know.”

“For fucks sake you co own a Switch.”

“Fuck, I forgot it’s my turn this week.”

“Ask him to be your boyfriend and apologize while you’re at it, like seriously how the fuck would one forget?”

“I just do and I am never drinking again,” Renjun hurriedly picked up his phone and dialed Yangyang’s number.

Yangyang picked up on the third ring, _“Hello?”_

“I’m sorry I forgot.”

 _“Hyuckie texted me,”_ Yangyang cackled on the other side. _“Kiss me sober next time.”_

“Will do,” he exhaled. “Is your car safe?”

 _“Safe and sound,”_ Renjun could literally hear Yangyang smiling.

“Okay bye, we’re both going to be busy. See you next week?”

_“I have the sign ready.”_

“Fuck, I haven’t started on mine.”

_“Focus on your solo, see you!”_

He said “Bye, you’ll do awesome!” then ended the call.

“Damn, I want me a man so understanding and patient and chill and says what he wants and gets it,” Hyuck rolled his eyes, “you really won with Yangyangie.”

“I’m a jerk.”

“Hell yeah you are!” Hyuck pointed finger guns at him and said “Thank all the gods out there that Yangyang is chill as fuck and knows you like he knows himself or else you would have a huge misunderstanding that will create unnecessary angst and hurt the both of you.”

“Damn, who hurt you?”

“Shoujo anime,” Hyuck replied with fake tears streaming down his face. “Please put a ring on his finger already or else Mark and I will have a three way marriage with him.”

“Dude you can cry on command? That’s so sick!”

“When there are no customers at the café later, I’ll teach you.”

\---

Renjun is performing in the first half of the show. Taeil and Sicheng already told him during the rehearsals that it was perfect, but he couldn’t help but be nervous. After years on the stage, people still intimidate him. Thankfully his family isn’t here to watch. He saw the audience outside and most of his friends are here, Hyuck came along with Mark to watch them all, while Jeno, Jaemin, and Yangyang are performing on the second half of the show after lunch. Chenle and Jisung are currently on stage, dancing to the EDM song of Jisung’s choice. It’s an energetic dance full of powerful movements. Only three more songs left before Renjun steps on the stage. He sits and stares at his two juniors, twisting the rings on his fingers.

He breaks out of the trance when someone pokes his cheek with tissue.

“You’re sweating a lot,” Yangyang said, patting his forehead dry. “I bet you could dance your piece with a blindfold on.”

“Is that a challenge?”

Yangyang has his hair down today. He will be performing a solo and he chose to wear a black button down, black skinny jeans, and white sneakers. It is simple compared to his former costumes. Sicheng told Renjun to go simple with his attire and make it up with jewelry, so he wore a flowy white dress shirt, white trousers, and black shoes. Together they look like Yin and Yang.

He held Renjun’s chin and patted his neck, “You look hot.”

“Thanks,” he said. It’s weird how Yangyang’s face is near his. He could smooch him right then and there and he could see all of his features very clearly, even the stray eye lash that fell on his cheek bones.

It will be really awkward to reach up and hold Yangyang’s face with their current position, so he lightly punched Yangyang’s stomach.

“Fuck, why did you do that?” Yangyang yelped and clutched his stomach. Renjun took the opportunity to pad his thumb on his face and remove that goddamn eye lash on his cheek. “Oh,” his eyes widened.

“Yeah, but I lost it you can’t make a wish.”

“Sucks,” Yangyang straightened and he let go.

“Dude, you are going to get cold,” he closed a few buttons on Yangyang’s shirt, knowing that it’s useless because Yangyang would unbutton them again before his performance.

“Ten and Winwin ge are starting now.”

“I can’t believe they decided on Billie Eilish before I could.”

Sicheng and Ten wanted to dance ‘Lovely’ and Renjun wanted to perform ‘When The Party Is Over’, but the hyungs wrote their song first and he doesn’t want to have the same artist with them so he found something else.

“Your song is glorious.” It really is, when Renjun came across it he almost cried.

“Thank you so much, can I see the banner now?”

“Nope.”

“Come on, I chose what to write on it!”

“You’ll see it when you see it.”

Yangyang crumpled the tissue into a ball then threw it into the bin near them, and sat next to him. They watched Sicheng and Ten’s stage in awe.

“Damn, Lucas could never.”

“Sicheng ge would be a hot vampire.”

“I can picture that,” he stood up and wiped his palms on his jeans, “I need to go, Dejun wants me to film his performance. Do you want me to film yours too?”

“Nana will,” Renjun replied, “just watch me.”

“Will do,” he grinned. “I would kiss you right now but our makeup might get ruined.”

Renjun blushed at that, so he punched his shoulder.

“Fuck you! You are wearing rings, you bitch,” Yangyang giggled and took his hand. “This will do for now,” he said before he kissed the rings that adorned Renjun’s knuckles. “Good luck!”

Yangyang cackled and bolted to sit by Guanheng in the audience, leaving Renjun in his seat frozen in shock.

“I didn’t know my baby could be romantic.” Ten sat beside him. “Is he a good boyfriend?”

He didn’t know what to reply to that question, so he said “I could outdance you with Billie.”

Ten scoffed, “But here we are, anyways Lana suits you better.”

Dejun danced to an original song by Kun and Ten helped him choreograph the dance. The two clashing personalities were blended together beautifully by Xiao Dejun. A few minutes later the crowd applauded, signalling the end of Dejun’s performance.

Renjun is next up and he isn’t fidgety anymore. He stood and stretched.

“Oh did that kiss work like magic?” Ten pinched his side, “Wow, I’ll make Kun do that to me before every performance from now on.”

Renjun stood in the middle of the stage, the white light illuminating him. Maybe it did work. His heart isn’t in his chest anymore. It is out in the audience holding a huge, pink and glittery sign which says ‘Huang Renjun owns my f***ing ass!!’ along with a photo of himself shot when he was in the middle of arguing with Donghyuck. Renjun tries hard not to laugh and focuses on his performance. He moves without thinking about anything else but captivating the audience. Time seems quicker when you’re in the moment. He bowed with a smile on his face. Donghyuck and Jaemin’s screams are prominent over the others. Renjun didn’t have to search far for him, the sign is gigantic. Yangyang is there, smiling brightly, enough to blind him and he is standing meters away on the stage. His smile grew wider.

“Fuck it,” he said in his head, “I am going to make him mine tonight.”

\---

He changed into comfortable clothing and spent lunch with Mark, Jeno, Hyuck, and Jaemin. They talked about how it’s been a while since the five of them hung out and Renjun’s performance. Jaemin told him that he embodied Young and Beautiful. However they had to return to the auditorium quickly because Jeno and Jaemin are needed early. Renjun sat and cradled the sign he made for Yangyang, he did it last night before passing out on his bed. It is not as embarrassing as Renjun expected, but Yangyang doesn’t get embarrassed easily unless his grandmother is the one talking.

Jeno and Jaemin went up the stage first with a bang. Renjun was bopping his head along to the beat when someone poked him on the shoulder. The girl from Ten’s studio sitting behind him hands him a small bouquet of flowers and says “Hello, I watched your performance and you did so amazing I cried.”

“Thank you so much,” Renjun politely said.

“Are you free tonight?” the girl bit on the insides of her cheeks, “I would love to have dinner with you.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“Oh, do you have a date already?” she asked.

“Well I’m planning to ask someone.”

“Really, so they haven’t said yes yet?” Renjun opens his mouth to speak but he was interrupted. “Come on, just go out with me.”

“I have a boyfriend, sorry.” He subtly held the banner out so she would see what is written on it.

“Oh shit,” she sank down her seat, “sorry oh my gosh I didn’t believe my friends when they said you’re dating Yangyang.”

“It’s okay, thanks for the flowers though.”

“Again, I’m so sorry.”

Renjun focused on his friends on the stage and Hyuck cackled beside him.

“So now Yangyang’s your boyfriend?” he whispered.

“I said that because I panicked!”

“But you mean it yeah?” Hyuck shakes him.

“I do,” Renjun slaps Donghyuck’s arms away, “and I’m going to ask him out tonight.”

“Go king! Get yourself some of that Taiwanese multilingual hunk of a dancer dick!”

“I’m starting to think you still find him hot.”

“Because I still do and Mark thinks so too.” Renjun exhales loudly with that statement. "Look Junnie, he’s up!”

Yangyang begins the song sitting on a chair, but then the beat drops and its all magic. He moves so confidently and his facial expressions, god he looks like he’s out for blood. He is graceful and sexy. His movements are both fluid and sharp. Yangyang is a phenomenal dancer and Renjun is currently thanking the two buttons holding Yangyang’s shirt together for their service. He raises the banner up high. Renjun looked online for phrases or memes and he decided on ‘I don’t really chase men but if he’s 20, 5’8, Taiwanese and named Liu Yangyang I might jog a little.’ but he crossed the ‘might jog a little’ and replaced it with ‘will run for my life.’

Yangyang smirked when he saw the sign and pointed at him. Renjun stopped himself from yelling “Your dick in my ass! Now!”

The song ended and Yangyang blinded everyone with his gummy smile. They enjoyed the night watching the rest of the performances. Yangyang joined them after changing into a hoodie. Taeyong even performed GTA for them. The night ended with Ten and Sicheng thanking everyone for supporting their joint studio showcase, saying that this would be the last for the year.

Everyone excitedly went out the auditorium pumped out for the holidays. Renjun puts on his coat and Yangyang puts on the beanie that he stole from him.

“Good evening sir, what are your plans for Christmas?”

“You never returned my clothes!” he flicked his ears.

“You didn’t give mine back either it’s fair.”

Yangyang digs his hand in Renjun’s coat pocket, and Renjun grabs on to Yangyang’s backpack. Snow falls over their heads and he puts his hood on. 

“Let’s go eat out tonight?”

Yangyang looked over his shoulders, “Aren’t we going to wait for the others?”

“I mean alone…” he bit his lip, “together?”

“Like a date?” Yangyang smirked and said “Why didn’t you say so? Let’s go!”

Yangyang drives him to a familiar street and blabbers about how Xuxi made a bet with Jungwoo hyung that he could confess to Sicheng before the new year.

And speaking of confessions, “A girl from your studio asked me out today.”

“You’re sexy that’s why.”

“I said no, because I am taking you out.”

“Okay?”

“I also told her that you are my boyfriend.”

They parked by the entrance of an old Chinese restaurant. Holy fuck, Renjun realized that this is the exact place they met.

“This is where we had our first date,” Yangyang smiled as he held the door open. “Let’s order first?”

“Sure, I’m starving,” he replied.

They frequently come here if they miss Chinese food and Kun ge doesn’t want to cook for them. Much has changed since 2017. The signs are brand new because layers of paper and tape pretty much covered the counters back then. The two of them giggled when they saw that the exact same booth they sat at was available and they took it. The leather seats were replaced and it isn’t tattered anymore. Now that it’s 2020, they’re both in college. Yangyang still wears bright colors and blinds people with his smile and Renjun still cries whenever he misses home, but they aren’t strangers anymore. The two of them orders chicken along with stir fried noodles and fried tofu with rice for the sake of the nostalgia.

A waitress brings them their food along with a large bowl of egg drop soup. She knows them by name now. They broke apart their wooden chopsticks and ate.

“Be my boyfriend,” Renjun says as he offered Yangyang some rice.

Yangyang took the bowl. “Sure.”

“That easy?” he steals chicken from the other’s bowl, “It’s like I’m asking you for a piece of chicken.”

“Bitch, you didn’t even ask me for a piece of chicken you fucking stole it,” he grinned.

“Don’t say it, I am warning you.”

“Like how you stole my fucking heart,” Yangyang giggled. Renjun kicked him under the table and he just kept laughing.

“Be serious!”

“I am though! I wanted to put a label in our relationship like where the fuck do I stand?” he pointed at the space between them. “And I don’t want you kissing anybody else when you’re drunk… and when you’re sober.”

“I’m really sorry I forgot, but at least tell me how it happened?” Renjun bites into his chicken.

“Lucas was taking the two of us home and we just made out in the backseat.”

“Like we just made out unprovoked?”

“Two sexy people in the backseat blackout drunk, what would you expect?”

“You’re always sane.”

“And you were so hot that night and you kissed me,” Yangyang returns the bowl of rice to him, “so I kissed you back.”

“Was it nice?”

“Oh, absolutely let’s do it again.”

“Nice, what did Xuxi say?”

“He actually thinks that we’ve been dating for years now.”

They giggled and Yangyang chokes on his noodles. It’s kind of funny. “So we’ve been dating for years now and we didn’t acknowledge it.” Yangyang just stares at Renjun, gesturing for water. He passed a glass.

He exhales and laughs again, “Were kind of idiots.”

“We really are, and we didn’t even pine for each other. I was genuinely attracted to you since forever.”

“Like oh wow damn I kinda want to grow old with you,” Yangyang scratches the back of his neck.

“Wow you complete me and I think you’re the one for me.”

“This is so anticlimactic.”

“Do you want to hear a heartfelt confession from me?”

“No way, I still can’t move on from your stage.” They finished eating, and Yangyang paid for the two of them. They cleaned up a little before standing up. “You really killed it today Renjun, and I will actually change my Twitter bio to ‘Huang Renjun owns this ass!’ later.”

“Please don’t,” Renjun clutches his sides, bracing himself for the cold, “and you did well too. Those two buttons were making me… feel things.”

“You can say the H – word, come on!”

They decided to walk around for dessert, because it’s barely eight o’clock. Yangyang’s arm snaked around Renjun’s waist, only to find its way in his pocket.

“Hesperosaurous.”

“You’re annoying.”

“But you’re dating my annoying ass.”

“I’m only dating you for food and your intensive dinosaur knowledge.”

“Ouch and I thought it was my looks.”

They passed by the café Renjun where works part time and it was open so they went in. Doyoung and Taeyong greeted them with soft smiles.

“Hyung, I thought you closed up for today?” Renjun sits by the counter beside Taeyong, “Two small cups of hot chocolate please.”

“You two look like you’re having fun.” Doyoung whips up their order, “Taeyong Hyung wanted cake.”

“We ate dinner.”

“Doie told me you’re dating,” Taeyong says.

“We are,” Yangyang replies and they both blush with that.

They received their cups and Taeyong insisted on paying for them. So they left the café with free hot chocolate and two muffins. Yangyang’s seat heaters are on and the smooth chocolate warmed their throats. Renjun looked at the Chinese restaurant out the window.

“This is a nice first official date.” He places the cup between his legs.

“I agree.”

“Oh I forgot to do something cheesy,” Renjun says as he takes Yangyang’s left hand.

He removes two of his rings and transfers them to Yangyang’s fingers. The other tries not to giggle at the gesture, but softens when Renjun raises his knuckles to his lips.

“Renjun,” he whispers, putting his cup in the cup holders.

“What?”

“I’m going to kiss you.”

“Okay.”

Yangyang cradles his face, cool metal brushed against his jaw. He giggled and smiled widely. Renjun decided that shit is taking too damn long to happen, so he leaned in. He used to think that kissing isn’t that special and it was simple, they have their lips on each other and exchange spit and that’s it. However, the fact that it’s Yangyang’s lips he is kissing and only he could claim those pair of lips whenever he wanted made it special, intimate, and them.

Yangyang tastes like chocolate and Renjun swears that he will be the only one he will kiss both drunk and sober.

Renjun thanks Taeyong, Doyoung, and the universe for hot chocolate, because it would have killed the moment if they tasted like tofu, noodles, and soy sauce. He bursts out laughing.

“Drunk or sober?”

“Sober, I’m gonna use tongue now,” Yangyang puckers his lips and Renjun ignores him.

“Okay, that’s enough romance for today I think.”

“Ten is going to bully me for the rest of my life if he knows about this.”

“Let’s just eat muffins at my apartment and watch Ariana Grande’s concert film?”

“Fuck yeah!”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading and merry xmas!!  
> i am @yangyangcentric on twitter yell at me i guess
> 
> song list:
> 
> it's nice to have a friend - taylor swift  
> pov - ariana grande  
> young and beautiful - lana del ray  
> my heart - christopher  
> for him. - troye sivan


End file.
